Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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