When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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