I need to stop coming to work sober
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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