this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize