if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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