Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
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we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
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Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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