look no pants
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize