I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
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