I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize