And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
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She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
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This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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