We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
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i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
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On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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