We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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