Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
This is my gift to your gina
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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