dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize