Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize