Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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