dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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