dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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