I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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