my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Randomize