I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
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I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
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I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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