its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
The struggles of a small town man whore
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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