we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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