Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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