I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
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If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
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My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
i out mim tonsoeep
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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