that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
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Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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