I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
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