Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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