listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize