dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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