Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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