you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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