His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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