Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm bleeding and have questions
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize