good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize