I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Randomize