dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
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Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
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