that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
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all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
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Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
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