He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Randomize