I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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