she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize