I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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