Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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