Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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