we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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