i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The uberlube is also flammable
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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