A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
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He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
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Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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