Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
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I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
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There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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