another moral hangover. fuck.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize