Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
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Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
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The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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